Unless you live under a rock, you know that last night MTV hosted the 2013 Video Music Awards. And boy did it get people talking. As a pop culture fanatic, I watched intently (on the floor of my friend’s apartment because I don’t have MTV) as the night unfolded. Here are my thoughts on the best and worst moments from the event.
Best – The Gaga Comeback
I bow down to you, Mother Monster. What a perfect way to start the MTV Shitshow Video Music Awards, am I right? Let’s just remember that Gaga just recovered from a hip injury that she had to cancel her tour for. Did you see her move up there? In a THONG, at that?! Legendary. Welcome back, my queen.
Worst – The “We’re In Brooklyn”
Oh my God. We get it. You’re in Brooklyn. Neat. Shut up.
Best – The Taylor Swift Shade
Incase you missed it, Taylor Swift 100% mouthed “Shut the fuck up” to her pal Selena Gomez when Harry Styles was on stage about to present an award. This moment was epic because 1. Thousands of people just realized that maybe Taylor isn’t the prim, proper peach everyone thinks and 2. By insulting Harry she basically signed her own death certificate, and that took some balls. And as much as I love 1D and couldn’t care less about Taylor, this moment maybe made me like her just a smidge more.
Worst – The Taylor Swift Cutaway
Well, that didn’t last long. To be fair, this isn’t her fault as much as the camera operators’, but COME ON. For some reason someone decided to make it The Taylor Show, literally cutting to her (and sometimes half of Selena’s face) every 3 minutes. Like, was she the only person there? Or the only person there that was sober enough to be on camera? In a room full of crazies it makes sense that they’d want to give screen time to someone as vanilla as Taylor over Lady Gaga in a thong, but let’s not forget that she just said “fuck” on camera.
Best – The Miley Doesn’t Give A Fuck
Maybe the most talked about and criticized part of the night was Miley Cyrus’s performance of “We Can’t Stop.” And I am here to say that I absolutely loved it. Was it bizarre? Very. Was it inappropriate? Perhaps. Was it classy? Absolutely not. But be honest, who in their right mind tunes into the VMAs expecting something tame, clean, or family friendly? Give me a break. Let’s not forget that just over a decade ago, Queen of ‘90s Pop Britney Spears performed “I’m a Slave 4 U” and transformed from cute pop singer to sex goddess right before our eyes. Miley wants the same thing, and I don’t blame her. She’s not 14-year-old Hannah Montana anymore, and anyone trying to shame her for being a “slut” just because she wore very little clothing (Lady Gaga. Thong. Ringing any bells?) and danced provocatively needs to get over it. The most “disgusting” part about the performance is that grown adults reacted by saying she needs help and claimed she has an eating disorder. Grow up.
Worst – The Married Man Twerk
The real issue with the performance is that someone thought it would be a good idea to mash it with “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke. As “catchy” of a tune as it is and as guilty I am of singing along to it on the radio, the song definitely has some issues. Robin himself said that it was fun to write a song about degrading women. Even if it was just a joke, as he later clarified, it was far from a “feminist movement”, as he likes to call it. And all issues with the song aside, why was he on stage while a nearly naked girl danced around him? It doesn’t matter that it was Miley, it could have been anyone and it would still be wrong for a 36-year-old married father to think that was ok. And the blame isn’t on Miley here, because the performance was essentially a copy of the music video for the song.
Best – The All Hail Yeezus
In typical Yeezus fashion, Kanye performed his ass off, in the dark with a still image behind him. While wild and crazy performances like Gaga’s and Miley’s are entertaining, there’s nothing quite like watching the simplicity of an artist like Kanye West kill it on the mic. It was raw, it was poetic, and it was just awesome to watch. Even though “Blood on the Leaves” isn’t my favorite song from his album, I loved seeing him bring it to life. I’ll be honest though, I really wanted Kanye to pull a…well…Kanye and interrupt Taylor Swift…again.
Worst – The Austin Who?
So Justin Bieber’s leather-clad cousin won Best New Artist over Twenty One Pilots (who responded with one of the best tweets of the night) and Zedd, just to name a few. Looks of confusion swept the room as thoughts like “Who?” and “What the fuck is a ‘mahomie’?” ran through everyone’s minds. Mahomie? Really? (Ok, honesty hour – chances are I’ll hear his song on the radio and love it. But for now we mourn.)
Best – The *NSYNC Reunion
“This Justin Timberlake medley is fantastic. Wait, he’s going backwards. Are the rumors true? Is that…can it be…OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD THERE THEY ARE. THEY’RE SINGING GIRLFRIEND. What’s next…it has to be…YES, BYE BYE BYE. THAT WAS MAGICAL. Sure they’re a little older and out of shape and not wearing baggy pants and velour turtleneck t-shirts, but it’s so great to see them together agai…”
Worst – The *NSYNC Reunion
“…WAIT – WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! Stop it, stop being lowered into the ground (or walking off the stage because your hole doesn’t work, CHRIS)! Stop that right now! Come back! IT CAN’T BE OVERRRRRRRRRRRR!” That about sums it up. Right in the feels, MTV, right in the feels. But thanks for putting together this “History of *NSYNC At The VMAs” so we can look back and remember the good old days. It helps ease the pain, just a little.
Bye bye bye,